Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Stormy Rants a Little, Raves a Little at ACM Awards

Stormy’s said it before, and she’ll say it again ... Viva Las Vegas! Oh, yeah, baby! Stormy made every effort to write her story on the return flight from Las Vegas, but wouldn’t you know it. This guy in the next seat spilled a diet soda on my favorite scarf. Stormy was too upset to compose her thoughts, so she opted to sleep. Back home, Stormy’s ready to unleash her thoughts on Sunday’s Academy of Country Music Awards.

Stormy’s thoughts are striking at random today, frequently clinging to fashion do’s and don’ts. When the mood strikes her, she lowers the boom on a performance. So follow along closely, which is exactly what Stormy tried to do during the Las Vegas-based show.

The show got off to a big start with country music’s high rollers ... Brooks & Dunn, Taylor Swift (loved her fringy dress), Sugarland, and Carrie Underwood (simply stunning in that white outfit but later on, in that brown dress, Stormy is still undecided about what she thinks was a large bow or was it?)

Of course, Stormy was on the lookout for recent Hollywood gossip pager LeAnn Rimes. Who was Humanitarian Award winner LeAnn Rimes sitting beside? Alert the media, but it didn’t look like her hubby. No, an aisle seat and no Dean in sight.

In clear sight was a stunning Nicole Kidman in the black-beaded backless gown. Nic had the very best accessory a girl can have, hubby Keith Urban, who was sporting noticeably shorter locks.

Stormy loves this West Coast night that spices things up with a dash of Hollywood, this year in the form of Matthew McConaughey. Jennifer Love Hewitt was a stunner in that fabulous white frock as she presented the Song of the Year Award to Jamey Johnson for “In Color.” What did songwriter James Otto have on the hindside of his britches? Stormy also loves dedicated husband and soon-to-be new daddy Brad Paisley, who watched from home, sitting on the sofa beside the Opry’s own Little Jimmy Dickens.

Was it just Stormy or was Kenny Chesney just a little flat on “Last Night”? Is playing the song’s video behind the performer the best we can do? The black and white treatment on Jamey Johnson’s performance of “In Color,” now that was creative. Loved it, love that song. One of the best songs written in years, in Stormy’s humble opinion.

Stormy’s seen Heidi Newfield look better. A girl can over-accessorize, you know. But the ring of fire was impressive.

Top New Group Winner the Zac Brown Band hit the jackpot. New Artist of the Year Julianne Hough might have danced on stage to accept her award, but that fabulous gold gown wouldn’t allow it. Stormy was wishing and hoping that Julianne’s cutie pie boyfriend Chuck Wicks would race to her rescue and carry her up onto the stage.

At the top of hour two, David Copperfield introduced Album of the Year winner Taylor Swift, who really knows how to make an entrance. She took a seat at the piano to perform. Stormy is afraid that girl is going to hurt her neck, tossing that hair back like she does. Over the course of an entire tour, that’s surely to leave a mark.

Is the MGM Grand missing some curtains? Oh, Top Female Vocalist and Entertainer of the Year winner Carrie, you know Stormy loves you, and she loves that dress. For a moment, Stormy thought Randy Travis was hidden somewhere behind that voluminous skirt of yours. Perhaps he was ... and still is ... unable to find his way out in time to sing his half of the duet. Stormy now feels a little bad about insisting that her mother make her one of those Barbie cakes for her tenth birthday. You know, the ones where the doll was planted firmly in a gigantic cake skirt, visible only from the waist up, held prisoner by cake and frosting? Even Carrie described the dress to the press as “red icing.” With all her heart, and all of the shantung silk in this world, apparently, Stormy L-O-V-E-D that dress. Does the dress have its own bus?

Stormy’s just sayin’ little Martina McBride looked fabulous in purple with the bedazzled waist. Reba was ravishing in that golden sunset inspired gown. It looked as if she had risen from the sands of the painted dessert. Lovely. Good to see Lee Ann Womack back and in her fine traditional form. A little more “solitary thinking” about that unflattering dress would have been a good idea. Vocal Duo of the Year winner Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettle’s rib cage looked stunning in that cocoa- or was it slate-colored halter dress that was split down to there. Ditto for Miranda Lambert, although Stormy thinks it quite apropos to wear a black ensemble to sing about dead flowers.

Didn’t Rascal Flatts look cute in their color-coordinated shades of brown? It reminds stormy of the days she was a Brownie Scout. By the way John Rich, as a rule, Stormy never mixes her denims. No, never. Kellie Pickler, a personal favorite of Stormy’s, was as shiny as the casino lights on the strip in that gold fishtail gown. Keith Urban performed that song that Stormy loves so much, “I Wanna Kiss A Girl.” Stormy just has to ask, “What are you waiting for, Keith?” The thought of you ever being lonely in this big ole world is unthinkable. Thank goodness his Academy Award-winning wife was right there, rockin’ out to her hubby’s latest single, quite honestly unlike we’ve ever seen before. Nic was having herself a good time! Perhaps Sunday Rose got to stay up late to watch Daddy.

And the evening’s award for the best juxtaposing of performers--sweet little Miley Cyrus with a lavish set and spectacular special effects just before rebel-rousers Montgomery-Gentry on a tiny circle amid the crowd with nothing. Easy to see who makes ABC and Disney mucho money.

Single of the Year Award winner Trace Adkins didn’t miss a thing, picking up honors for “You’re Gonna Miss This” and proudly admitting that he’s “an idiot” from the stage. What a guy! And Bettie Lou said that was a three-hanky performance with Trace and the choir. Understand that Bettie Lou doesn’t even know how to download anything, but she said this just might be her first time after sniffling her way through that performance.

Stormy’s got to dash to the dry cleaner’s and see if her favorite scarf can be salvaged. As she reflects on the ACMs, for the most part, Stormy’s glad that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Till next time.