Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

The 42nd Annual CMA Awards:  Music to Our Ears, When We Can Hear It 

It has taken a while for Stormy and Betty Lou to recover from the 42nd Annual CMA Awards.  Where did the evening go?  More importantly, where were the audio technicians?  Stormy just watched the entire show again from her comfy, cozy sofa because she missed so much Wednesday night.  Come along as we recap some of the evening’s most memorable moments. 

Stormy must admit that she loves her CMA Awards sprinkled with a dash of Hollywood star power.  Hugh Jackman (you know, if we move these awards to August, perhaps we could justify a shirtless appearance for him), Reese Witherspoon (she just sounds so much more Southern when she’s home) and Nicole Kidman (Stormy could have tackled her for those gorgeous earrings.) 

Speaking of Nicole and Reese, country music’s biggest night was dominated by blondes.  The burning question on everyone’s mind:  who is taller, Nicole or Taylor Swift?  The second burning question on everyone’s mind:  What is George Strait’s secret? As Betty Lou said, “He’s the Dick Clark of country music.”  He gets better looking with each passing year.  The third burning question on everyone’s mind:  Who was Lorrie Morgan with? 

While we ponder those, let’s discuss the fashion wonders and blunders.  Our hostess Carrie Underwood was simply dazzling.  Speaking of Lorrie Morgan, Kellie Pickler is channeling her inner Lorrie with the hair, the fashions and the spunky tough-girl songs.  Martina McBride went out on a fashion limb with her stage attire.  What was the intent of that awkwardly placed ruffle on her top?  Carrie Underwood called, and she wants that ruffle back because the one on Martina’s blouse was surely taken from Carrie’s skirt.  Black was back on the red carpet.  Reese was resplendent. Reba may have done well in the opry.com election poll not long ago, but Stormy isn’t sold on her red carpet attire. Jennifer Nettles was stunning, as was the statuesque Taylor Swift, who apparently can’t keep her clothes on, at least on stage.  Love those unexpected wardrobe changes, Taylor! 

And now, for the moment Stormy dreads but one that everyone anxiously awaits—worst dressed honors: Jay DeMarcus and that jacket even he belittled on stage. 

Some random thoughts from Stormy and Betty Lou:  If Brad Paisley and Keith Urban started a band, BL says she will be their number one groupie.  Sign her up.  How nice of the show’s producers to slot Kid Rock’s performance at 8 p.m. Nashville time, providing ample time for a barroom brawl or two before he headed home. 

Who dresses Billy Ray Cyrus?  Seriously?  Who’s responsible for that?  Who were the Amish men singing backup for George Strait on “Rolling on the River of Love”?  Keith Urban plays his heart out for three or four minutes on a song called “Sweet Thing” and the camera can’t get one close-up of what was surely a beaming Nicole Kidman?  At the ACM Awards, Reba stumbled through the lyrics during her duet with Brooks & Dunn on “Put a Girl in It.”  At the CMAs, Reba takes the time to learn ALL of the lyrics, and someone forgets to turn her mic on until the last verse.  Cowgirls don’t cry, but they surely kick someone’s butt when they get backstage.  Darius Rucker sang “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It.”  It crosses Stormy’s mind from time to time, too, Darius, don’t you worry.  It was great to see Alan Jackson and family out for the big night.  It was even cooler to know that his oldest daughter didn’t feel compelled to travel from Wake Forrest to Nashville.  She’s just happy being a college freshman.  From the waist up, it appeared that Miley Cyrus had missed the sign that said “Wet Paint.”  The full-length view made much more sense.  Loved the sets; they were simply stunning.  Honestly, often times, the sets were more entertaining than the performances.  Betty Lou said that was definitely not the case with The Eagles. 

“Just Too Busy Looking Fabulous,” what a perfect introduction for Shania Twain, who was looking especially Sophia Loren-ish.  Ah, Mutt.  Looking good really is the best revenge, wouldn’t you agree? 

By now, the dust has settled on another spectacular year in country music.  Nicole and Keith have made their Thursday Starbucks run.  Reese and her children, Ava and Deacon, are having one more romp in the leaves or another walk in the rain before heading back to the West Coast.  Hugh Jackman is still trying to figure out exactly what Trace Adkins was saying.  George Strait just got a little better looking.  Stormy just learned that five-foot-eleven Taylor edges Mrs. Urban by a half an inch.   Can’t wait for next year.  See you in two weeks!