Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Be sure to stop back by every other Tuesday for the latest installment of Stormy Speaks.

Ouch, That's Gonna Leave a Mark!  

Just a couple of reminders from Stormy:  First, it’s hot in Las Vegas, like really, really hot (and not just the cute guys that surrounded Stormy.)  Secondly, Stormy has declared a hug-free zone until the searing pain subsides. Yes, you guessed it, sunburn.  Who has time to calculate her SPF when the ACMs are taking place ASAP with VIPs every where and your BFF forgets to remind you that the desert sun is H-O-T?

So much has been said and written about the West coast country accolades, but since you’re dying to know what Stormy thinks, here goes.  We all know that redheads don’t tan, so who dusted Reba with bronzer?  Rock that ivory skin, girlfriend.  And next time you decide to boot scoot boogie onstage with Brooks & Dunn, dear me, tape the lyrics to Kixx’s back!  Great to see Garth and Trisha share the stage.  Miss Yearwood looked stunning in her blue gown with a neckline that gave a whole new meaning to “Honey Can You Squeeze Me In?”   Our little Nashville Star alum Miranda Lambert really stole the show with that album of the year award.  She surely gave the show’s producers a surprise when she expressed her true feelings directly into the camera upon hearing her name announced.  And did anyone else notice the female background singer who performed with Rodney Atkins?  Those moves, that hair, what was that?  It’s distracting enough for Stormy to listen to songs about cleaning guns and eatin’ nuggets.  Perhaps she’s just one of Rodney’s people, just givin’ this life everything she’s got and then some. It ain’t always pretty.   And enough about the Kenny Chesney entertainer of the year controversy.  Can’t Kenny just speak his mind in a press room filled with representatives from every major media outlet without expecting it to travel all around the world in just a few minutes?  Is that too much too ask?  

According to the scuttlebutt reports, Robert “Mutt” Lange, has “gone and done it.”  If he has indeed grown apart from wife Shania Twain, he’s no longer “still the one.”  And if reports are true that he upset Miss Twain, “that don’t impress me much.”  I guess what Stormy is really trying to say is this:  “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under, Mutt?”  Oh, Shania does indeed have a great repertoire of song titles for a relationship meltdown, doesn’t she?  

Remember last year on the CMA red carpet when Kellie Pickler announced her upcoming visit to the troops in Iraq?  You know, when she declared it would be her first visit to the Gulf Coast.  Well, Pickler recently completed her first USO tour to the Middle East.  Granted, the sand Pickler found was in the desert and not on the beach, but nonetheless, she looked super cute in her protective gear and cammies.    Did Stormy tell you about the time that she and her friend Bettie Lou watched Kellie on that tv show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?  Well, Kellie was on, and one of the questions referred to the capitol of Budapest.  Kellie had never heard of Hungary.  Now, she knew about Turkey but not Hungary.  Well, in honor of Kellie, and Stormy means it’s truly an honor, anytime suffers an intellectual misstep, Stormy and Bettie Lou now refer to it as a “Pickler.”  Go ahead; feel free to use that in your everyday conversations.  If your coworker actually thinks “irregardless” is a word, that’s a “Pickler.”  

Stormy has officially begun her Nashville Star countdown.  Stormy blocked June 9 entirely for the 2008 series premiere at the Acuff Theatre, and the days before are filled with great anticipation.  That is if Stormy fully recovers from four days of CMA Music Festival June 5-8 here in the city of Music. John Rich probably doesn’t have a clue what he’s gotten himself into.  The wrath of Stormy can be quite devastating at times.  If he thinks Stormy is going to stand idly by like Big Kenny, he’s sadly mistaken.  Get your game face on John; Stormy is just a few chairs away ready to do battle.

Slather on your sunscreen and count down the days, because the next time you hear from Stormy, we’ll have lots of Nashville Star news to cover.  Can’t wait!  Stormy’s off to soak in an oatmeal bath!