Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Be sure to stop back each week for the latest Nashville Star update in Stormy Speaks.

Country Goes Poop as Pop Goes Country on Nashville Star

Stormy began her Monday with a visit to the coffeehouse around the corner. Her trusty laptop in hand, she ordered the usual and settled in to read the morning headlines. Cruising along, Stormy came across a regular Monday morning read that just happened to mention Nashville Star. Stormy’s girlfriend, Hazel Smith, had some harsh words for John Rich, going so far as to say he’d never find a woman who would love him as much as he loves himself. Well, ouch, Hazel! Stormy’s bettin’ you’d marry him in a minute. You’d probably even iron all those jeans his granny makes for him, too.

The show got off to a crazy start when BRC called Tommy Stanley and Gabe Garcia forward, and Tommy landed in the bottom two. It was more suspense and anticipation than Stormy trying on last year’s bikini.

With a “pop goes country” theme, Gabe “Giddy Up” Garcia took the stage first with the Ricky Martin classic (if Ricky Martin actually could have a classic) “Livin’ La Vida Loca,” complete with dancing girls and choreography. Where lesser men might have been distracted by the hot chicks, Gabe was right on the money! Crazy good!

Pearl Heart, much to Stormy’s surprise, turned in a somewhat respectable performance of the B-52’s “Love Shack.” The shack was hardly rockin’, but Stormy did appreciate the mandolin as the girls continue to channel their inner Dixie Chicks. Try as they may, Pearl Heart still fails to make Stormy cackle.

Alyson Gilbert might as well have been singing in the mall when she performed “I Think We’re Alone Now.” It was about as exciting as the last case of food poisoning Stormy got at the food court.

Ashlee Hewitt’s rendition of “You Drive Me Crazy” by Britney Spears finally got Stormy’s attention, ya’ll. Ashlee’s bare little midriff was reminiscent of the Britney of years ago, like back when Britney used to do 1,500 sit-ups a day. But, oops, Ashlee, can you do it again next week? Has Stormy mentioned that this entire “pop goes country” theme drives her crazy? And don’t even get Bettie Lou started.

Coffey took shelter under Rhianna’s “Umbrella,” trying to hide from the pitch police, but they saw him. The performance was just all wet in Stormy’s humble opinion.

They weren’t born when the song was a hit the first time, but Laura and Sophie tackled “Pretty Young Thing” just the same. It was no thriller by any stretch of the imagination. However, their song selection almost explained those atrocious dresses. Almost. Just beat it, Laura and Sophie.

Hello, Shawn Mayer! They said it couldn’t be done, and Stormy certainly had her doubts. But Shawn was totally in sync with “Bye, Bye, Bye.” And with boy band choreography as a bonus!

Melissa Lawson showed her “True Colors” on this Cyndi Lauper anthem. The color was solid gold, turning in the evening’s best performance. That’s why Stormy loves you, Melissa.

Oh, Bettie Lou was inconsolable as we waited and waited and waited to learn if her Justin Gaston would leave her. Then he took the stage to sing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” the second Cyndi Lauper tune chosen by these musical tenderfoots. Bettie Lou was immediately nervous for Justin, but soon she was wishing she was one of the girls in the jammie party on stage with him. Could Justin have selected a better song? Well, of course. But wasn’t it just a little fun, a little bouncy, and a little country? Indeed. Wasn’t he cute? Stunningly.

Bettie Lou remained on the edge of her seat as Tommy Stanley took the stage to sing “Maniac.” Poor Tommy boy. He really put the pop in “pop goes the country.” We really must work on that hair.

That BRC is such a tease. What felt like a never-ending commercial break stood between the big announcement and those of us in the audience. By the way, who forgot to send Stormy the memo that it was a two-hour show? She made dinner plans and had to reschedule. Finally, the moment everyone had been waiting for, but most especially Justin and Tommy who stood before the crowd for elimination time (that’s such an unfortunate phrase). And just like that, well, after a good 20-second wait, Tommy was rescued from the jaws of elimination. To say BL was distraught would be a huge understatement. Stormy doesn’t know who was more lost in those last few moments following the big announcement, Justin or BRC. The final eight minutes of the show were certainly the most dramatic of the entire evening. The look on Justin’s face was one of disbelief or was he just a bit angry? Now, cute as he may be, Justin couldn’t have been THAT surprised that he was going home. Much to her delight, Bettie Lou said Justin is even cuter when he pouts like that. If only he could have prepared some parting comments, just in case he got the boot.

Stormy apologizes to her many fans for failing to include a fashion statement in last week’s column. Of course, you’ve come to expect that. Well, this week, Jewel was spot on in that yellow dress as was Katie Cook in that navy blue v-neck gown she was sporting. Alyson Gilbert made a poor song choice but she dazzled in the green asymmetrical dress and those killer shoes (which honestly were almost the death of Alyson as she could hardly walk in them.)

Stormy is glad that “pop has gone country,” and we can put this week behind us. She eagerly awaits week four. This just in: Stormy just learned that next week is “family week” on Nashville Star, and not one but TWO of our precious country music stars in the making will bid us adieu on this two-hour extravaganza. Brace yourselves; this could be a bumpy ride!