Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Be sure to stop back each week for the latest Nashville Star update in Stormy Speaks.

Melissa Lawson Takes Nashville Star Honors—She’s Going To Need a Sitter! 

It’s over!  Melissa Lawson takes the sixth Nashville Star crown. 

What a way to begin the big show, with a little vintage Billy Ray Cyrus.  Nothing resonates with Stormy quite like the lyric “You can tell your dog to bite my leg.”  That’s good stuff.  Back when superstar Miley was just a twinkle in her daddy’s eye, “Achy, Breaky Heart” was climbing the charts.  The show’s producers even brought out the ratings-grabbing scantily clad dancers.  What were those costumes?  Bettie Lou and Stormy are still wondering. 

Going into the big show, Stormy was somewhat concerned that Gabe and Melissa fans would split the vote, and Shawn would be crowned the winner.  Everyone skirted that issue, but Bettie Lou did have a very valid point. Isn’t it ironic how each judge/mentor had a contestant in the final three?  However, had Shawn not fired John Rich earlier in the competition, it would not have worked out this way?  As long as Stormy and Bettie Lou have opened up this debate, let’s plant the seed for further doubt, as it relates to the grand finale.  Did anyone notice how very rehearsed Gabe and Melissa were as they belted out what has to be Bettie Lou’s favorite song from “Dirty Line Dancing?”  Right down to those awkward moments where you could tell Gabe and Melissa were thinking in their heads, “Oh, it’s time to reach for his/her hand now.” 

As happy as Stormy is for Melissa, she didn’t look that surprised when her name was announced.  If Stormy were the mother of five, and she had just won a major recording contract, and she had a single being released to country radio the following morning, and you could purchase it on iTunes, then Stormy would have been dancing on the ceiling like Lionel Richie. 

Other moments that Stormy found less-than-dazzling:  Gabe choosing “Celebrity” as his first song.  We wanted so much more.  “Gone Country” was quite an improvement.  Shawn struggling through “Gunpowder and Lead.”  Both Stormy and Bettie Lou agreed that “My Wish” and “Gotta Be Something More” were fine selections for Melissa.  However, the one thing that Bettie Lou was most certain about was Jeffrey Steele, who BL deemed “cute as a button.”  He also takes home Stormy’s award (although Bettie Lou would just prefer he take her home) for Best One Liner of the Night when asked who he thought would win the competition, “I’m still holding out for Pearl Heart; I think Pearl Heart is going to win.”  Didn’t Jewel look very Veronica Lake-ish?  Apparently, Jewel had left wardrobe, hair and makeup when she got one look at Katie Cook in that dress.  She marched right back in and said, “More. Now.”

As for Melissa, her kids must have thought nothing could be cooler than their mom winning, until they saw all of that confetti.  Does it not occur to anyone that confetti falling from the ceiling becomes a bit of a liability when one is singing full throttle?  Stormy thought Melissa might choke, instead she had to delicately fetch the pieces of paper from her mouth.  Nice touch while you’re wailing the high notes. 

Bettie Lou was also upset that all of the contestants appeared to absolutely no fanfare.  Not even a “welcome back.”  Could someone please explain why we couldn’t get even one celebrity in the audience for the big finale?  Granted, George Jones was nice, via tape, but sprinkle the audience with stars for the final show.  To have been spoiled by the likes of “Ugly Betty’s” Vanessa Williams only to have the dazzling aura of celebrity snatched from our clutches was a cruel, cruel blow. 

Stormy can’t wait to hear Melissa's song on the radio, while Bettie Lou can’t wait to bump into Jeffrey Steele at the supermarket.  Meanwhile, the Nashville Star tour is gearing up, complete with Missy, Gabe, Shawn and Coffey.  If Stormy and Bettie Lou can find the time, they’ll take in a show and report back with all the details.  Otherwise, Stormy must now refocus her attention on what’s happening in Music City.  Remember, Stormy’s back, every other week with a complete country commentary. You don’t want to miss that.